Tales of the Parodyverse

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ag
Wed Jun 01, 2005 at 03:48:57 pm EDT
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Visionary Week Special #1, To Touch the Stars
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Visionary Week Special #1, To Touch the Stars




Across the starry expanse they flew. Amazing Guy looked calm and collected. Soaring through the cosmos is second nature to him.
By contrast his passenger sat on a comfy couch made of what looked like stars, and therefore blended in with the starry background making it look like he sat on nothing. He looked anything but comfy.
“You alright Vish?” AG asked.
Visionary tried hard not to look down but he kept finding himself peeking. “Ulp! Er… yeah. Uh AG can you slow it down a bit? All these stars zipping by are making my head spin.” The possible fake man’s star field couch had a bubble around it, allowing him to breathe in the vacuum of space. As they zoomed passed a planet’s three moons with nothing protecting him from the cold airless space outside, he found himself very grateful for that bubble.
“I could but if I do we’ll never make Xetti Nortufu in time.” Amazing Guy had the same shimmering energy around his body, allowing him to breathe too. He had his aura connected to Vish’s bubble, allowing them to talk.
“I’m really in no hurry, honest.”
“I know. I just need to get back fast. Dinner is almost ready and my wife hates it when I’m late.”
“You’re married? I didn’t know that.”
“Well that’s part of the whole secret identity thing. No one knows. Hey weren’t you married once?”
“Yes. She ascended to a higher plane.”
AG looked at Visionary with a clueless expression. Vish tried to explain further, “She was the Goddess of HTML. She… ah… ascended.”
“Ooookey. So does that mean you’re no longer married?”
“Well yes. I’m single again.” Visionary was having a difficult time carrying on a normal conversation as the constantly speeding stars became faster and faster. “You know AG, we don’t really have to do this. I’m sure I could get Hallie something from Media Play. I don’t think she’s seen “Airplane” yet.”
“It’s no problem Vish. Really. Believe me, when you see the Holo-Scene Trees of Xetti Nortufu you’ll just HAVE to get her one. The Librarian was right to suggest it.”
Visionary settled down into the transparent couch. He figured the less he distracted Amazing Guy the better.
As they came out of warp right near their destination Vish was once again amazed at how beautiful other planets looked.
“This one’s quite a sight, huh?” AG asked him as he slowed their descent through Xetti Nortufu’s puffy pink clouds.
“It’s almost as gorgeous as Yo-Planet.” In Vish’s mind nothing was as beautiful as the home of the Yo-Beings.
He gawked down at the amazing glass cities. “I would hate to have their cleaning bill! It’s bad enough when I have to scrub finger prints off of our windows. Fleabot is the worst. I’ve told him not to walk on the windows but does he listen?”
“Heh! Hey at least it’s just robotic flea prints you have to worry about. Ever try to replace windows after they’ve been melted by a child trying to use their powers properly?”
Vish just gave him a look.
“Oh yeah. I forgot. Well how about when a kid turns all the windows in the house to ice cream?”
“You have kids that can do that? You have kids?”
“Four of them but only one can rearrange molecules.”
“Wow. Well I haven’t had to clean up after that but I HAVE had to clean up windows after Lisa and…”
“Ok! You win! Well here we are Vish!”
They were surrounded by beautiful crystal trees. At least they looked crystal at first but as Vish touched one it changed into a fuzzy puppy, then to a miniature sunset then when he let go of it back to crystal. “Whoa! How does it do that?”
“No idea but they are incredible, huh?”
A tall thin aquamarine colored alien slowly started to approach. It spoke in its native tongue but thanks to AG’s powers its voice was translated, “Amazing Guy! You have returned with a fellow creature from your planet! Have you decided on a tree?”
AG looked at Vish, “Well, interested?”
“These are natural holographic trees?”
“Yes. They grow in their normal crystal shape. When touched they take on various shapes. They are one of our most valuable resources.”
“I’ll take this little one here.” He had selected a small three foot tree.
“Excellent. And have you brought payment?”
Vish reached into his pocket for his cash but AG stopped him. “It’s on me.” AG reached into the interior of his cape (which also looked like an endless amount of stars) and pulled out a paper bag. “It’s fresh from last night.”
The alien inspected the contents and smiled. “Pleasure doing business with you!”
As they sped through the universe on their way home Visionary finally brought it up. “Dare I ask what was in that bag?”
“Cat poop. The Xetti’s use it for many things like…”
“Alright. That’s all I needed to hear.”
“Hey someone might as well use the stuff. It’s just going to go in the trash… HEY!”
Both Amazing Guy and Visionary had to shade their eyes as a glowing form streaked far faster than anything Vish had seen before.
It was human sized and filled with every color imaginable.
“What was that?” Vish asked as he tried to clear his eyes.
“I think I know.” AG sent out a unique energy flare with his powers and the streaking light turn then headed back their way.
Vish started to regret asking as he now realized there was no where to hide on this energy couch.
Then he got a good look at what was coming their way.
It was a beautiful woman with incredible glowing butterfly wings. She had soft pink skin and gently twitching antenna.
“Starglow! It WAS you! What brings you out to this side of the universe?”
Listening to her voice was like listening to stars twinkle. “Amazing Guy! I am glad to have found you! Robus Darnik is invading the Huff-scratch! You’ve got to help them!”
“That creep! He promised he wouldn’t attack any more systems! The Muskrat people on that planet cant fight off his Lego men!” Amazing Guy turned to Vish and explained, “Visionary, this is Starglow the Cosmic Butterfly. Starglow, this is Visionary the…. Well he’s a friend from Earth. Vish, I need to send you home the fast way. I’m really sorry.”
AG opened a tiny portal the size of a small TV set. It became fuzzy then an image of Trickshot appeared in the center. “Tricky?”
“Hey pal. What’s up?”
“You’re in a Lair Jet?”
“Yeah. I was just going to…”
“Perfect! I’ve got Visionary here and I need to send him to you. Go above Lair Mansion just at the outskirts of the stratosphere.”
“WHAT?” Vish panicked.
AG turned to him, “It’s going to be ok. I cant teleport someone straight to ground level. It has to be in orbit or in the middle of space.
I used to teleport friends near Vessel and she would get them but as you know she was destroyed in the Crisis. You’ll be ok.”
“Wait! I cant just be popped into space! I cant breathe in space!”
“I’d get you home but I’ve got to save the Huff-scratchians!”
“But AG!”
Starglow had a bemused look on her face, “He’s kind of cute when he’s scared.”
“It’s a common thing. Bye Vish. Don’t worry. You’ll be in safe hands with Trickshot.”
“How is that safe?” Vish was clutching onto Hallie’s gift so hard his knuckles were turning white.
“Ready Tricky?”
“Ready AG. Send the fake-puss over!”
“I’m real…” Vish began but felt himself being flung across the stars at incredible speed. It was almost like he wasn’t in the universe at all. The next minute he was inside a Lair Jet with Trickshot smirking at him. “…dammit!”
“Heh! What a turkey! Well Vish you’re a sight for sore eyes! Nice shiny tree ya got there. Well strap yourself in. We’ll be there in a few seconds.”
“There? You mean the mansion?”
“No! You’re going to help me spy on someone I’ve been itchin to spy on for a while now.”
“What? Who?”
“Her royal high-ass herself, Baroness Zemo!”

To be continued as Vish spends time with my big three, one at a time.




a.g.
Amazing Guy






Scott’s Site! Featuring Caption the Pic (where action figures talk!), Amazing Tales on the Web (stories and micros of the Parodyverse!), and JLA Micros (The entire JLA, as micro heroes!)




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